"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'"
-- Dave Barry
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
-- Mark Twain
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx
"The more I know about people, the better I like my dog."
-- Mark Twain
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."
-- Steve Bluestone
"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end." - Max Eastman
"A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God's truth is attacked and yet would remain silent."
--John Calvin
"I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better."
-- George Bird Evans
" A wise man associating with the vicious becomes an idiot; a dog travelling with good men becomes a rational being."
--Arabian Proverb
"When the old dog barks it is time to watch."
-- Latin Proverb
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
--Sue Murphy
"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
--Eleanor H. Porter
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon. Hence the constant popularity of dogs."
--Aldous Huxley
"Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to."
--Joe Gores
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."
--Alfred North Whitehead
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
--Mark Twain
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
--Unknown
"The dog is the only being that loves you more than you love yourself."
--Fritz von Unruh
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
--Gilda Radner
"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
--Unknown
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies."
-- Gene Hill
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
-- Edward Hoagland
"When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long."
-- Unknown
"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
-- Andy Rooney
"Every dog must have his day."
-- Jonathan Swift
"I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
-- Steven Wright
