"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'"
-- Dave Barry
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
-- Mark Twain
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx
"The more I know about people, the better I like my dog."
-- Mark Twain
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."
-- Steve Bluestone
"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end." - Max Eastman
"A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God's truth is attacked and yet would remain silent."
"I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better."
-- George Bird Evans
" A wise man associating with the vicious becomes an idiot; a dog travelling with good men becomes a rational being."
"When the old dog barks it is time to watch."
-- Latin Proverb
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
--Eleanor H. Porter
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon. Hence the constant popularity of dogs."
"Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to."
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."
--Alfred North Whitehead
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"The dog is the only being that loves you more than you love yourself."
--Fritz von Unruh
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies."
-- Gene Hill
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
-- Edward Hoagland
"When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long."
"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
-- Andy Rooney
"Every dog must have his day."
-- Jonathan Swift
"I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
-- Steven Wright